


Gone Again

by VeryLateTrash



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 05:02:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14301372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeryLateTrash/pseuds/VeryLateTrash
Summary: Just a little thing about this hellish episode.





	Gone Again

Sam felt his heart sink to the very bottom of his stomach. He knew laying in bed wasn't going to fix his problems. If anything, it'd make everything that much worse. 

And yet, he couldn't force himself to get up. 

Sam had spilled everything to Gabriel. All of the emotions, the memories he'd pushed back for so long ever since Lucifer had him in the Cage. He'd given Gabriel a speech that he himself had wanted so much to be given to him. With tears in his eyes and a hand clutching his heart, he'd confessed to Gabriel that he needed him. 

He *needed* Gabriel.

Not for his grace, not for his strength to fight Michael, (although both of those would help this hellish situation), but he needed Gabriel because of the pain he felt when he wasn't sure he was okay. He needed Gabriel because he felt safer when the angel was around. He needed to rest his head on Gabriel's shoulder, or even bury his face in his chest and let the angel be the taller one for once. 

But he could keep himself from wrapping his arms around Gabe's waist and pulling him close if it meant having him around at all.

Gabriel left.

He left them when Sam needed him most. And it hurt. Sam's chest hurt, his head ached, his eyes were stinging from all the tears he'd been blinking back.

And then Dean came back. Alone. Not even Ketch had made it back. Grace. They needed grace to get back through, but they'd given it back to Gabriel. At the time, it seemed like the best thing to do. And Sam considered to himself that it was only because Gabriel had his grace back that Asmodeus didn't kill them all.

Sam flinched when Dean yelled. More than he usually would've. More than he should've. But he'd already been on edge and the added pressure sent him over. He knew he should be comforting his brother, but dammit, he needed to be comforted now!

Sam muttered out an excuse that he knew wouldn't convince anyone before making a beeline to his room. 

And he'd been in there since.

Sam couldn't push himself off of his bed; he felt as if the weight of the situation was actually pressing him into the sheets. Sam felt tears prick his eyes again. Frustration, loneliness, anger, every negative feeling he could possibly muster all attacked Sam worse than Asmodeus had.

His bottom lip trembled. He needed to speak, but he felt as if his lips were sewn shut just as Gabriel's had been. Sam struggled to force words to escape from where they were trapped in his tight throat.

He let out a prayer of all things, "Gabriel, I know you can hear me. That's how it is for you angels. Always hearing when a human needs you. Well, I've said it once and I'll say it again. I need you." Sam shook his head, "I know you don't want to fight in this war. I know you want to separate yourself from your family. That's what you wanted to teach me all those years ago. That you need to let go of a loved one in order to be able to live. Well, that lesson didn't stick with me. I'll protect Dean with my life...but I guess you know that already. You always said I thought too loud..." Sam bit his lip, "But this isn't about Dean. This is about you. I'm not stupid, Gabriel. You didn't respond when Cas touched you, but I speak and you suddenly open up? I think you need me as much as I need you. And that's okay. Gabriel, don't run out on this. You taught us that we needed to play our parts, so maybe take your own advice and come back. Play your part in our narrative." Sam cringed at his word choice internally, "You know what I mean. Just...come back. I need you."

Sam's eyes were squeezed shut, and when his prayer was finished, he half expected to see Gabriel sitting on the edge of his bed, that wonderful smirk lighting up his face. He'd roll his eyes and tell Sam to lighten up, that he was such a drama queen sometimes. And Sam would laugh, despite the pain in his chest because his angel was there, and that's all he needed.

Maybe that's why it hurt that much more when Sam was greeted with nothing but the silence darkness of his bedroom.

He sighed. He'd have to come to terms with this. Gabriel was gone. Again.


End file.
